Dennis and I get into little tiny arguments sometimes. They are usually about nothing. Little things that annoy him, that I do. Big things that annoy me, when he does them.

We were having a little one last night which started because I ask him to shut the bathroom door while the shower was warming up. Julian was sleeping and his bedroom is right next to the bathroom. I don’t know about your guy’s house’s, but my shower is damn loud. Especially when the door to the bathroom is open- the bathroom echos! (I did not want our kid woken up and crying and the whole mess of drama that would come with that. It was 11:30 at night, for pete’s sake.)

Dennis proceeded to explain to me for the next 5 minutes about all the “studies” that have been proven about noise disturbances and which volume scientifically would wake a sleeping child and which would not. Naturally, the bathroom door open while the shower ran was NOT one of these…. where he pulled that information out of… I can give you one guess.

Meanwhile, I am beginning to become exasperated with his explanations and my hands involuntarily begin to rise to plug my ears. Involuntarily, I tell you!

Dennis goes, “Are you three!? Am I talking to Julian?” An incredulous look on his face.

I seriously couldn’t help it. I tried to explain, scientifically,  why my ears just couldn’t take any more explanations (and how I would have rather he just go get into the shower.)

Somehow this escalated into cleaning abilities. You all know how that works in a discussion. One thing leads to another and so on. We were not yelling or upset… but he ask me why  I was sooo awful at vacuuming? I actually suppressed a laugh inside. That might anger some women… but since I do not vacuum- it did not upset me. Dennis does all the vacuuming- (and immaculately- I must say.) So.. I told him the truth. It’s been a little secret of mine for awhile now…

…and I know all you women feel me on this: I said, “I vacuum sooo badly… so that you will do it, instead.” He snickered and totally thought I was joking.  He responded with, “Nah… you’re just bad at it.” Then gave me a kiss to go get in the shower.

Yes, honey. That must be it.

So, I apologize for the 6 months I have spend on blog hiatus. Sometimes the energy given off by the computer honestly makes me anxious and somehow I end up getting overwhelmed and distracted in life from this kinda stuff. So, I needed a 6 month break.

I thought I would entertain you with some of the wonderful accomplishments I have recently completed. Not that you care.

1.) I recently made a purse and began a movement called “Free-Machine Sewing” which is kind of like free-hand sewing except you use a machine. And the most important this is that you DO NOT use a pattern. It really boosts your creative juices. It even helps if you set yourself a time limit on the project. Your piece will never come out store-bought perfect, but I think it’s better because it’s handmade with creative flair! Who needs Coach!?

PS: I already have, like, an arsenal of people wanting my purses so maybe I will post some picks, put em up and Etsy and see if I can sell some. Hot item this Christmas season! It’s all about hand made stuff with the down economy, baby!

2.) I’ve been spending 19 hour weekends learning about Yoga and how to teach others to do it. Let me tell ya, it’s totally worth it despite the time commitment. I recommend Rising Sun Yoga to all ya’ll. Come for classes! And bring the kiddos to the Children’s Classes!

3.) Oh yes, I started subbing as a children’s yoga teacher on Thursday nights at Rising Sun. So seriously, bring out the kiddos to the 6:00 class!

4.) I am 25 pages into my novel. I am determined to finish 200 pages by the end of December. I kinda forgot about NaNoWriMo this year (if you don’t know what that is look it up!) and am doing my own! I won’t “win” per se, but I will feel accomplished myself, none the less.

Anyway, maybe I will be done with the delay now.

Okay, so I woke up from this dream last night and I was majorly upset. It was one of those realistic and LONG dreams that pretty much feels like it lasted the entire night and then some.

So, feel free you freudian psychoanalysts to analyze away. I welcome your ambiguous and thoughtfull comments.

So: My dream begins-

I was a little younger in my dream then I am now, and still living at home with my parents. It started with a magical raccoon or something showing up in the yard one evening and walking around. It glowed. When I went outside to find it, it was no lnger there. Bummer, I thought.

The next night, a small baby horse, or colt, showed up the yard. I seen it out of the window and I went out side to find it. This time, I did. It was so adorable and sweet and angelic. It licked me and instantly loved me. I reciprocated the feelings. In a moments time, it become MY horse.

I don’t remember having a definite name for it, but I remember wanting to feed it because I was scared it was starving. We ran to Walmart (of all places to buy food to make some kind of mixture for a horse!!) Here, this is the part in the dream where you can tell I have never owned nor taken care of a horse- I buy newspaper to shred, Honey Nut Cheerios, Milk, and something else to mix together for the baby horse to eat. Yes, newspaper! Ew.  Then I rush back to the house.

I remember in the dream my parents were a little upset at first but then gradually accepted the fact that it was MY horse to take care of. So, when I got home, it was kind of sleepy so it layed down to take a nap. I thought it died. So I poked it and slapped it around to make sure and it got a little mad at me and woke up, and I was so happy it was alive!!

Then I fed it and my parents made me put it back out in the yard. I didn’t want to, but I had to. Then it was night time and we slept. But in the morning… this is the totally sucky part- someone stole my damn horse!! I couldn’t believe it. Not only was I angry, but I was heartbroken. I honestly loved that horse with every emotion a dream can muster up.

So I cried and told my parents and then I began patrolling the neighborhood looking for my horse. It wasn’t tied up or anything and there was no fence int he yard so my mom kept saying maybe it just wandered off. But deep down inside, I just knew the horse loved me too much to wander off. It wouldn’t do that.

Then, lo and behold, I see my baby horse tied up behind a fence in the neighbors yard 4 houses down from me! I was ridiculously upset. They stole it!

I would like to say something spectacular like- revenge- happened in the dream, but it didn’t. And I didn’t burn their house down and steal the horse. But I tell you what- I woke up this morning very mad and appalled that someone would steal my horse. Dream or not- what kind of a world do we live in!! I was talking to myself in the car this morning just wondering, who the hell would have the nerve to go ahead and steal the horse that I loved and which loved me too… ugh. Stupid dreams.

I know you’ve all seen this before but it fits so perfectly with this blog…  :)

I wonder how many people every day say the words, “Just tell me the truth..?” And I wonder how many of them actually mean it? Radical honesty might be a fad or a trend in some sects of the country, but for the majority of people- though they think they want  the truth- they actually want to hear what would make them feel better. 

If you thought for one moment about telling the absolute truth, without holding back, to everyone you came in contact with it would seem an impossible and scary task. Telling your boss what you really think, telling your significant other those little secrets you hold back because you would rather not hurt their feelings, or telling that pretty girl that walks by you what you really think of their sexy strut, or that hot mailman how great his junk looks in his tight shorts… lol, you catch my drift. And you couldn’t do it.

I can say I live my life 85% honestly. I don’t tell everyone what I really think. Not only would it be inappropriate and rude, but it wouldn’t help too much. But, I know I am more honest than most people. Sometimes people come to me for that. Sometimes they avoid me because of that. I usually tell people the good things I think about them. Most people would deserve that. They know if I like them, if I think they are attractive to me, if they make me feel at ease or if I believe them to be easy to talk to. 

Dennis lives his life a little more honestly than I do. Maybe 90%.  He doesn’t have as much of a problem being a little rude or inappropriate. I like it, though. I much prefer his honesty to the illusions most people would rather portray to save someone’s feelings. But let me warn you- it does take getting used to in a close relationship. At first, when something is said that you don’t want to hear, your first response is to become “hurt”, and… why? We are conditioned to expect certain things by society. “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.” This is not always a statement to live by. There are times people need to hear the truth even if it is not nice and not what they want to hear.

I think I have broken through the “Matrix.” I say this because I think there is this web of illusion we put over ourselves, and  our actions. When you are outside the bubble it is much easier to see the remainder of the flaws in society’s system of honesty. It can be brutal at first, but after you lower the conditioned expectations and start expecting honesty your social conditioning is numbed down to reality and honesty is so much better. It’s like having a bout of “mental clarity.” Cleaning a dirty window. You see things through a different light. Explaining honesty to others usually proves useless. Unless you’ve broken through the matrix of the system then you are under the social conditioning spell that thinks honesty is something completely different than it really is. How can you convince someone of something when they are on a different wavelength than you are?

This is probably just a lot of ridiculous rambling. Maybe I am just brainwashed… lol. Think what you want- at least I’m being honest…

I have to tell you- I nearly pissed my pants the other night. I was watching the news late in the evening (and I don’t ever even watch the news, but this swine flu crap has me stayin tuned in…) well, I don’t know if I was just tired or half drunk off the wine I was sippin, but I just bust out laughing and could not stop when they were talking about the swine flu. Dennis thought I was losing it, but…

First off- the name is utterly ridiculous. Even if I was infected with it, I would laugh pretty much every time I told someone I had it because I would not be able to believe I had a virus with that ridiculous of a name.

Secondly- people are retards. I’m sorry, but I am feeling hella bad for these pork farmers out there, because their sales are dropping off like flies. Let me say this only once: YOU CAN NOT GET THE SWINE FLU FROM ANY PIG MEAT. It’s pretty funny, because I swear to Ludicrous himself, that is the first thing that people think of. I can not tell you how many folks I have spoke to that are normally intelligent and informative people that confidently say, “Well, I’m taking precautions. I haven’t even ate any ham or pork since this was first announced…”  okay… sooooo… you’re trying to disassociate yourself with pigs altogether now that they have imposed this wicked name of a disease on us…  tsk, tsk. Like that helps the situation.

Thirdly- I am quite sure that for laughing so hard at the swine flu for no particular reason that I am going to be punished with it myself. Isn’t that just karma coming back to bite me the booty? So, to avoid this- if you have any symptoms whatsoever of any cold, or virus you will no longer be my friend anymore if you come near me. I am warning you- do not take advantage of the situation if you have been looking for a way out of our friendship for some time now…  because if I DO end up with the swine flu and you used the fake excuse to rid yourself of me, I am coming over to make up with you and smother you with swine flu kisses…. hahaha. Now THAT is karma….

(ps: not that I believe in karma…)

I’ve realized a few things about myself lately. I’m really not hardcore…. anything. I always tend to see the pros and cons, good and bad, and both sides of the coin, of everything. So it’s difficult for me to be 100% on most topics of discussion. Most- but not all.

I could never be vegan, though I do see the pros of such a lifestyle. I just love leather, silk and cheese way too much. But on the other side of the coin, animal cruelty sucks, I enjoy organic cotton and being healthier is always a plus.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s a lack of motivation or commitment that keeps me from being a middle-ground person. I like neutrality. I like to listen to the different sides of things. It’s interesting, and though my own opinion likely always stays the same, sometimes there are compelling arguments.

It scares me a little bit when people lean soooo far to one side of the fence that I think they’re gonna tip. My balance is never quite even, as I always lean more to the right-side of things, but closer to the middle is better for me.

I have a difficult time siding completely with anyone and this annoys them. I tend to think most people jump much to quickly to judgement.  I’ll elaborate more on this later.

For now, let’s just say- I know I’m not hardcore.

Okay, so I am crushin on this white kid rapper from the suburbs! Have you heard of Asher Roth, yet? If not, this won’t be the first time.

Asher Roth. He has freckles. He’s got this home grown white-boy nerd look that’s totally hot. People keep comparing him to Eminem, but he’s got a different style, a different sound. I love that he doesn’t take himself too seriously. He got that cockiness and confidence I like. Asher Roth is no joke. He’s talented, and he’s gonna be huge. 

*sigh*

Maybe I’m crazy, but I like to think that when I instant message someone that they would have enough dignity to at least respond to me. Even a, “Sorry, I can’t talk right now, I’m busy..” I get it. I understand. And you know what, I would give you the same courtesy. I would only not respond to you if I didn’t like you. And then- Why would you even be on my friends list then??

I don’t even try to talk to people all that often. So, if I am trying to message you- you better believe it’s because I actually have something to say to you and I am interested in what you have to say, as well.

There is one person on my list in particular is that is driving me insane. Insane!! I believe I may actually delete them from my account. I can not get an answer out of them, not even a sorry I’m busy. It’s pissing me off. And I am usually a pretty happy person…

And it’s not that I think I am soooo important that I must immediately be given attention, but after awhile it’s more like a slap in the face when nothing you say will get them to type you a short little message. Not even, I’m choking to death- call the 911 for me! (Yeah, I didn’t use that one… and if I really was choking- This person would not be receiving that message. Cause they wouldn’t respond anyways!!!!!) It’s more than annoying- it’s flippin’ rude and I wanna bitch slap them back..

The benefits of going Raw are absolutely unparrelled. I don’t expect it to be easy to change my diet. I am scared it is going to be unmanageably difficult. Plus, I plan on eliminating caffeine completely for the experiment. Which, right now, I usually have a minimal amount of caffeine in the morning. I am interested to see the effects going without caffeine with have on my body, as well.

My reasoning for doing this is simple: I am curious. I would like to know what this is all about. Why people do it for the emotional and physical benefits. I am not trying to lose weight- but the diet itself will naturally regulate your body to it’s optimal weight over time. I do plan on weighing myself daily in the morning. Also, I will be blogging about the effects of the diet itself on my sleep, trains of thought, cravings, mental stability and state of mind, energy and other factors as they come along.

I will try my best to stick with this and I could use encouragement. My self-discipline is not always the best. But I do plan on giving this my best shot. I will probably be brutally honest in my blog about the small and large nuances of change this makes in my daily life.

In case you have not previously read what a raw food diet consists of, please check out this link: Living and Raw Food Recipes

And it will give you a run down of a bunch of different recipes so that you can understand the types of food that is allowed on this diet. Most of this sounds appetizing to me. I love fruits, vegetable and nuts. And I look forward to trying some things that I have never tried before.

The problem that I know I will encounter is still having to cook a reasonable amount for Julian and Dennis. Even though I am sure they will want to eat some of the food I make for myself, there is no way I can involuntarily subject them to a diet they are not choosing for themselves. Having to cook for them is going to make it much more difficult for me. As I will have to be eating large quantities of fruit, vegetable and nuts- they will be eating smaller and more condensed meals. Theirs will be faster, easier to prepare (in some instances with the quick processed foods) and probably smell delicious to me. It would be significantly easier if I lived on my own. But, I do not. So, encouragement will be very, very necessary.

If you have tried this and you have tips, tricks or easier ways to get through the initial detox period, please comment and let me know. If you are a raw-foodist and you have other encouragement for me, please comment. I would love to hear what you have to say. Thanks!